Ex in The City

Can't wait for the 9th!

I've worked almost everyday just so I would have enough cash for the trip. Even though it would be a short one (Because I have tutorial classes to attend.) I know I would enjoy it. (Hopefully la. Unless the ol' folks start criticizing the cooking and cleaning skills. Which I doubt that they wouldn't do that.)

Got myself a list of things to buy for me friends here. Not something expensive or anything cause the list of friends is long. And I mean REALLY long. (I just can't seem to scratch some off the list.) Keychains would suffice, me thinks. Haha.

Jumpin', jumpin', jumpin'.

Yesterday, I was on my home from class and I took the KTM back. I saw my "ex". Ugh! Seeing his face again made me feel all coiled up with mixed emotions.

Hatred. Sadness. Happiness. And did I mention hatred? Pure hatred. Deadly pure. (Hey, do you think they might come up with a perfume named after "Deadly Pure"? Just a passing thought. Continuing on.......)

His hair was a bit longer from the last time I saw him. The last time I saw him was when he worked in Carrefour. As a part time job while waiting for SPM results to come out. I would occasionally see him pass by Starbucks. And yeah, with that arrogant little shitty expression on his face.

Ok, the low down here is that I used to have the HUGEST, most GIGANTIC-est crush on him. Why? I don't know. He ain't all that anyway.

So, I used to like motivate myself to go to school just to see him. His class was lower than mine in Form 2 and 3. So every time during agama class, I would always get hyped up because our classes would campur. Sad little thing, I was. So, I know he knows that I know he knows I like him. Did that make sense to you?

During Form 2, word got around that I liked him. (I think. Because how else did he find out about it? How the heck???) I supposed he was desperate, and so was I, in that he asked me to be his girlfriend. In the surau. On a wednesday. Cinta di Surau Sekolah. Eew! That sounds so...... bleugh!

May God forgive us all for the sins we've committed. *Bows head*

Anyway, I seized the opportunity. Carpe diem. And no, it doesn't mean carp, as in fish.

I still remember that day because he was the first ever guy that I was positive I really, really, really, really liked. Usually, I would just have a certain admiration towards some guy and then it fades away quickly. But I had a crush on this particular guy for years. So, when he asked me, I was so thrilled.

But the thrill didn't last long.

He started to ignore me when we were to come across another in the corridor or whatever. I was thinking, what's wrong? What happened?
I started asking my friends about it and their opinions about what I should and should not do. It sucked really. We lasted for only 2 and a half months. Which was surprising to me how we could've lasted that long. It was doomed from the moment I said "yes".

From then on, I just tried to stay friends with him. Which proved to be an impossible task because he's such an arrogant little twit. He knew that I still liked him. I kept myself busy with sports, cheerleading, studies, other curricular activities and other boys. But I couldn't lie to myself.

Everything turned out for the better in the long run. I was ok until I received this message from this guy who was my senior. We were on the way to the Handball tournament at SMK Sri Muda. I was thinking, who was this guy? He told me not to trust my friends. WOW. Very mysterious, he was. I asked my friends about it. They just told me to ignore him. Which I did. Hoes over Bros, or so I thought.

Turns out he was right all along. I couldn't trust 'em hoes. The chit-chatter and occasional SMS-ings and MSN-ings evolved into something more. Something I didn't see coming. We fell in like.

It was tough to be with him. My Mom, sisters and brothers all disapproved of him and forbade me to go out with him. They sensed that he was a bad apple. I didn't think he was, though.

After our daily, weekly and monthly arguments, I guess he just got sick and tired of it. We broke up a couple of times but managed to get back together again. But the last time that we broke off, it was at Secret Recipe in Subang Parade, we had both agreed to it. I, of course, cried myself to sleep almost every night. I don't really know what happened between us. It was like a dying candle. "Life's Brief Candle" kinda situation, you know. The flame that represented our love for another just died without us paying no heed about it. I couldn't get over it. We lasted for 8 months when I started hearing rumours about him going behind my back with another girl, or girls. So, it just ended there. I am happy, though, that he's lasted so long with his new girl.

So, anyway, back to that dumbass ex at the KTM. I knew he saw me. But as usual he would ignore me and do that arrogant face of his. I hate that face. Bagus sangat la tu. He thinks I'm still in love with him or something ke? Don't flatter yourself ok? It was the stone age when I got over you.

Ciao.